The number 8 has a lot of meaning for me, not only does it feel like it is a sign from the universe, it also reminds me of the infinite sign.
Symbolizing unity and perfection in the most divine none earthly way.
8 years ago my journey started, my anxiety broke loose and for years I desperately wanted to find quick fixes and short answers. I would pray at night and cry in hiding or even worse, I would push down and ignored my emotions only to bring myself to a state of emotional explosion.
Every second of my existence I would spend it wishing I could be the person I was before my anxiety disorder broke out like a wild animal in the jungle.
I remembered how I used to feel or not feel rather and how much I missed feeling like “me”.
Now, where I find myself today is being grateful because thanks to that struggle I have been finding myself. Not the character created over the years but the Person I was born to be.
My signature and my essence, my pure full expression unfiltered.
8 years of suffering that have only been healed by understanding.
I often talked about the answers being on the inside and boy! They are!
But you have to search for those answers and you must not be afraid to look.
I created a narrative and a story, one that would be easier to look back and easier to talk about.
My story was highly scripted but incredibly manageable. What a delusion!
And so I lived for years, and I know that many of you live in the same kind of reality. Running from the truth and searching for answers in external sources.
The anxiety, the depression, the insecurity and self doubt. They all has an explanation and reason to be. They need not just happened and you are not broken.
Take this from me: The broken girl who realized the only thing shattered in her was the mask she often wore to hide from her trueSelf.