”Heal your past and you will find your truth”
My healing journey has been filled with many endings, painful realizations, and eye opening experiences. For the longest, I expected it to be a very straightforward and progressive lane with also an expiration date, which I sought to measure at all costs. It took a lot for me to realize that, the only way to find peace is to flow with the situations unfolding in front of me, rather than resist, in the end, I have little control.
As many of you already know I have suffered from anxiety for many years, not only this but I always felt like there was a disconnect inside of me, I often failed to feel grounded and present, and it felt like there were chunks of my childhood missing from my awareness.
Later on, I learned with the help of my therapist about repressed memories and how trauma is a reason for them to be locked away in a very heavily guarded place in your brain. After realizing this, I have been able to recognize the many cycles I’ve repeated, and a key to my healing has been breaking them for good.
I have come up with a list of the different reasons why healing has been a painful process for me, there are many more not included here, but I compiled the ones I struggled with the most:
1- Fear is the enemy of enlightenment:
This emotion is simply paralyzing, we tend to create disastrous scenarios, in efforts to protect ourselves from future disappointment, So for anyone to unlock their past and find peace, courage will be a key component. In my case, my fears were always bigger in my head. Important note: Being brave does not entail, not feeling fear.
2- Healing is like peeling layers:
Our feelings are our truth. When we deny and ignore them, we are also failing to be genuine. I learned that emotions are stored as energy in your body, repressing them will only delay an imminent explosion, sometimes it may simply show as passive aggressiveness or bursts of uncontrollable rage, if this happens to you often, it is time to slow down and be more observant.
3- Attachment, as the Buddha explained, is the cause of suffering:
Everything will come and go at its own pace, whether right or wrong, beautiful or ugly. Emotions and pain are bound to leave. The lesson here is: you are the ocean and not the waves. Let it all flow, be present with it all.
4- You cannot do this alone:
Allow yourself to be supported by those you love and trust: for as long as I can remember I have been a loner, survival has been my most precious life accomplishment. Relying on others or asking for help was never easy, once I was comfortable I found so much love in opening myself and allowing others to witness my pain, We all need a compassionate witness in our journey, to help us validate our truth when we cannot do it for ourselves.
5- Isolation will also be part of the equation:
I took a vacation from the outside world, Alone time serves me as a tool to explore my feelings, in a way where I don’t have to filter what I say or how I say it, socializing is ideal for healing, but this could also be a distraction. Allow yourself to have a balance between the two.
Lastly, healing is all about breaking cycles, ending relationships and removing toxic energies from your life. It may feel like an eternity, but I want you to find peace in knowing that cycles are bound to end, and this too shall pass.
Please leave me your comments and thoughts on the comment section, I would love to hear from you.